There are so many good things about sports. The spirit of competition, the great food, the trash talking, and the world class athletes just to name a few. However, I’ve also noticed quite a few annoying things that happen at sports events so I thought I’d make a list of my top 10. Enjoy!
- People talking on their cell phones during the game – Nothing upsets me more than seeing people talking on their cell phones or emailing on their Blackberrys during the game. Especially in the clutch moments of the game, when all of your emotion and concentration should be on the action. But at every event there are those idiots who are giving play-by-play to their buddies and telling them how great a time they’re having at the game. The only thing a cell phone should be used for at any game is to order a pizza to your seat so you don’t have to leave the action. It may also be used as a substitute for a football in case you need to do a touchdown celebration and spike something. If I could have one wish in the world, it would be for every idiot talking on a cell phone at a big game, to be kicked out of the stadium and have a worthy, diehard fan replace them.
- Signs that suck up to the network televising the event – Everyone’s seen them and groaned. Canada Beats Czechs. Can’t Beat Soccer. Disgraceful signs taking up valuable airspace, which somehow make it on TV because they give the network some pub. These signs must stop. They teach kids that you can get popular by selling out to the man. Never sell out. Tell them how you really feel. Nothing would make me happier than seeing a sign stating TSN Sucks Nuts.
- Halftime interviews with coaches – When was the last time these coaches actually said something meaningful? The late ’90s? I’d much rather have Suzy Kolber interviewing Joe Namath a few times than ever see Bill Belicheck’s mug on TV.
- Baseball players adjusting 947 different things after each pitch – This one goes out especially to former Cub, now MVP candidate Nomar Garciaparra. Did your gloves really become totally messed up after you watched that ball go by? I mean, Nomar doesn’t even swing and all of a sudden he’s an absolute obsessive compulsive mess. What happened to the rule that batter’s couldn’t leave the batters box during an at-bat? Why is that rule not in place?
- The playing of “Who Let The Dogs Out?” – I would be a much happier man if I never again heard this horrific song. I blame the Seattle Mariners for the popularization of the song, as they allowed it to be A-Rod’s entrance music for a year. If the Baha Men vanish off this earth, no one will miss them.
- Electronic cheer reminders – When you have to use a JumboTron to remind your fans to cheer, maybe those fans shouldn’t be there. I find it absolutely pathetic when sports fans don’t know when to cheer at events. It’s like going to a concert and not knowing which band is playing.
- People wearing jerseys of teams that aren’t playing – This is only acceptable if your under the age of 6. Wearing a Michael Vick jersey to a Detroit Lions – Green Bay Packers game should result in automatic expulsion from the stadium with a possible lifetime ban. Simply an unforgivable offense.
- Suits in prime seats – Thats nice that your company has some backdoor connections that allows you to sit in the bottom few rows whenever you feel like it. But could you please not wear a suit to a baseball game? There’s kids with gloves sitting in the 500 level while you chat away on your cell phones, maybe paying attention for the last inning or so. You can do that at the top of the stadium while the kids would get the thrill of their lives sitting so close to home plate and actually having a chance to catch a foul ball. Get over yourself suits!
- Green Bay Packer fans – They’re more plentiful than mosquitoes and twice as annoying. All the cheesheads that make you want to never eat dairy again. I don’t know what the allure of that franchise is but it seems to infect people and become more toxic than The Plague.
- Fans interfering with the game being played – Cubs fans associate one name and one name only with this annoyance: the dreaded Steve Bartman. One bit of fan interference can ruin an entire franchise’s hopes of glory. Mr. Bartman did this exact thing on October 14, 2003 by interfering with Moises Alou catching a foul ball which would have allowed the Cubs to be 4 outs from the World Series. Every baseball fan knows the catastrophe that resulted from Mr. Bartman’s lack of intelligence. Jeffrey Maier, the legendary Yankee kid who snagged Derek Jeter’s non-HR out of Tony Tarasco’s glove, is another perpetraitor in this category. Let the play take its course, your there to watch not play!
Did I forget anything? Let me know!